Saturday, January 16, 2010

SHADOW-S

Loose baggy pants, yellowish white shirt, unkempt receding hair, head stooped down, dull eyes that looked over the spectacles, a bag on the shoulders - a shadow of depression, of unknown hatred and of uncertain confusion.

The shadow cycled the roads, everyday. The house to the school and back, to tuition centers, to special classes, to church, to Sunday school, to hospital … the shadow was diseased. Tied and fettered. It thought nothing was free; that everything had an investment, an amount to be paid – one liked it or not. Actually, it never thought. It was made to think. It was always shown an ideal to look up to. Whatever it did was practiced. It had lost its ability to create and think for itself. The shadow literally lost its source of existence and creativity. It became what it was projected – a shadow.

But the shadow had a dream, a hope. The more it was subjected unto, the more it dreamt of freeing itself from the projection. One day the shadow unfettered itself. It moved away, without any reason it escaped. It went in search of its identity – its self but it had lost it, forever.

The shadow had dreamt of fleeing free into the skies. Now it is captured in the maze of words inside four walls, stuck between a chair and a desk, in front of a screen – glued, its fingers danced according to many tunes. And it thought it dreamt freely.

The shadow now thinks it has realized its dream. It has actually learnt how to transform into many shadows. Shadows for different surroundings, for very many reasons. It had lost its source forever. Perhaps, the source itself was just a shadow!

The shadow became what it is.

10 comments:

Unknown said...

I love this post :)
Will make substantive comments once i get to thinking. This is one of those few posts which give u a deja-vu feeling.

Unknown said...

Wow lenny...I liked it..
it gives an eerie feeling..
I wud have liked the post called something else though!

'lenny' DICKENS said...

heh, thanks akshya: expecting yours.

'fil de biblios'- sorry, your name please ya... your profile access is denied!!!
thanks ya. and suggest a title, i think i'm really bad at it.

Unknown said...

hey Lenny, it really is a very good effort! Interesting and all the better for its brevity. But I also agree that the title might have been something more forceful (don't ask me though, I am seriously lousy at the name game!).

Shee said...

Lenney dear... this is one of the best posts u've made. At one point I thought it was someone specific you where talking about. Then I felt each of one of us is a shadow. We all start with that dream to be free, to have an identity... and then somehow end up as shadows...
Real good post!!

'lenny' DICKENS said...

thanks Anita: for your sweet suggestion and escape. I'll think about it,though.

Sheeja, thank you. you've been quite lucid about your comments on any posts. And yeah, thanks for the encouragement.

'lenny' DICKENS said...

dear Gogo,
thanks for your passionate response. I'm with you. however, I'm rather concerned about your assumptions and I really need a clarification. you have mentioned:

'meaning signifies what we individually consider meaningful and worthwhile and I believe we are free to do that provided we are not afraid to desert the trodden path'.

Now what is 'Individual'about this? don't you think even the individually considered meanings have a structural back up?: for it may have connections with your cultural, economical, social and political institutions.

and I'm interested by the phrase 'if we are not afraid': wow, you didn't use 'confident' and i understand it because fear and anxiety is inevitable in any aspect of individuality. (i would have preferred 'fear-less') now, why should we have fear?

fear of our own 'shadows' perhaps!!!

btw, there is nothing modernistic about my piece, I was just questioning the essential image of a modern-all-confident-man.

'lenny' DICKENS said...

Absolutely, I agree.

World is so big, different, diverse and huge that very few amongst us have the possibility and opportunity to learn about it.

Even 'the particular' signifies many different meanings to a person so much so that very few know about it.

caught between this many straddle as others' shadows.

however, when we think about what we know and the confidence that emerges, we might probably question the aspects of individuality, modernity and rationality. they create shadows - which we are proud of. a bundle of shadows IS also a shadow! and no one is sad about it.
actually we celebrate being shadows. for there is no feeling, no pain and no sense.

I believe even uncertainty is growth because its a sign of change, one is not stable at least. after all, who is certain of anything?

anyway, i share/believe a lot of things that you've shared, however, I'm also worried that only few of us can access the elite assumptions that we share. and that's sad!

Unpredictable Specimen said...

Hai Lenny!

Enjoyed reading it and I think, everybody could identify with Shadow. A Good Attempt, indeed! ...somehow, I find it to be more poetic.

Vims

'lenny' DICKENS said...

thanks Vimala, for your encouragement.